Friday, February 28, 2014
Thursday, February 27, 2014
less aint more. dunno who.tf came up w that shit
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
mommas & coping skills
ya.. so.. seems to me that when I lost having my mom in my life as my everything and the one I could talk to about ANYTHING and then everything was alright. . I also lost my coping skills.. and unfortunately for me during that same time my mom had a stroke and reincarnated into someone else.. that may have loved me the same ?? knew me the same ?? but couldn't be there the same.. I lost all ability (if I ever had it besides mom telling me 'everything's gonna be alright') to cope with hardships. And now.. no different. I suffer. I dont know how to deal with shit outta my control.. maybe im not a real man. Maybe suffering is part of life. Mom. I miss u & I need you. You were the only one I could tell any and everything to.. and u seemed to understand and care and give me advice. . Now I have nothing.
Monday, February 24, 2014
prepare
besides living & moving forward. . the in between time consists of preparing. . Preparing for something new.. dreams to come true.. and then occasionally when those dreams come true.. we must prepare for them to come untrue. . Always be prepared.. I hate opening mental doors for exit plans esp when I was prepared for the dream.. but its our instincts that help protect us.. and sometimes its our subconscious & fears.. cant always know the difference but can always be prepared. sure beats downward spiraling. been there done that.... never again. PrePareD.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Macayla
So the good new is for whatever reason o.O macayla and her mom also moved here a few months after I left.. so I see my baby regularly ♥♥♥ of course.. at a price..
just bout 2 years now...
just bout 2 years now since I moved away from Sacramento leaving an awful relationship but also my baby girl Macayla.. been the hardest years of my life coming here with nothin but a beach cruiser and a pickup truck bed of belongings. . A year of renting rooms.. looking for work.. wanting to die.. im alive. . Again.