Tuesday, January 29, 2019


I've accepted, after realizing and trial n erroring.. that for the most part, I am the friend. I have very few. It's not mutual, based on my own definition. You know, when you're asked for advice or help but never how you're doing.. 

Let's not get confused with social media, of all aspects. That's not even a factor here. Irrelevant. Adulting sucks, being honest with yourself.. realizing most people are at least semi egotistical and narcissistic but also quick to be a naysayer if you bring this subject up.. I'm fine. Thanks for not asking 😂 but let me stop everything to be your life coach mr inspirational provider so you can ultimately,be your own worst enemy. 

I can't fuck with those kinda people anymore. Is this why I'm alone so much? Because they're the majority? Not pity partying about"who actually cares about me" but the truth is .........it'll always and only ever be YOU. If you allow someone t care about you more than you care about yourself- you're wrong. You're needy and codependent. That's not for me. I'm not a captain and I wear no cape... I cannot save myself from myself as of now.. I can't practice what I preach in entirety. But I won't sell my soul or fill a void with artificial temporary "friends" either. 

It's easy to be a friend. Comes natural. Is that because I give and project what I desire? Does that make the majority really that selfish if I don't feel reciprocation or does that make me them....needy and selfish. 

Beats me. But I will probably keep giving otherwise I'm the asshole. Because people take things personal. Few are those that are ready to grow but I cannot dwindle in my own efforts. 

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